doubts

Well, what can I say. I decided to open up this private chapter on my blog just for me – why am I doing that? I started to write diary when I was a child. It always helped me to cope with stuff, my thoughts and feelings, problems with my friends and family... And I became quite good in writing. So when I turned 18 and went abroad, I started my blog; I financed my trips and I could share my experiences with people - and I did it by doing what I've always been good at. And nowI'm sitting here and writing to myself about how I've taken myself the best way to deal with my problems LOL So now let's be honest, girl – I miss my parents. I'm sad that they can't deal with my life choices and that they never visit me here.How could I convince them to rethink stuff when they never get to experience the Naked City model? It's just a normal place, not very different to other ones! It's not like people invented a whole new world down here, it's just a different use of fabrics and less pointy shapes and everyone's in a better mood but whatever... they don't seem to care. At all.

fears

Sometimes, when I stroll through the old city center, there's a slightly different atmosphere. I can't really tell what's going on, but it's like everyone's a little shady, some people even seem to hide in the alleys. I don't get it, I mean the whole idea of living in a NakedCity is to not be in need to hide anything from anyone, isn't it?Whenever I feel that weird atmosphere, I get the chills. It scares me. UPDATE OH MY GOD. Last time I felt it, I just had enough. I followed that one guy with that suspicious look in his face through some alleys and suddenly I stood on a courtyard I've never been to before and – I still can't really believe it – there were people in clothes! People I know! Drinking wine, laughing, dressed in gowns. Of course everyone stared at me immediately, because I was the only one naked. I instantly turned on my heel and flee out of there. Not sure, but I think I even saw Ida in the corner of my eye. What shall I just do know? I'm so confused. Elisabeth is at her boyfriend's place until Thursday, but I'll try to call her as soon as she gets home.

hopes

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul I'm not the average girl from your video And I ain't built like a supermodel But I learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen‍ When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be And I know my Creator didn't make no mistakes on me My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes, I'm loving what I see I'm not the average girl from your video And I ain't built like a supermodel But I learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen Am I less of a lady if I don't wear panty hose My momma said a lady ain't what she wears but what she knows… But I've drawn the conclusion, it's all an illusion Confusion's the name of the game A misconception, a vast deception Something's got to change‍ India Arie